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I watched Sintel, an open source short film.  During the buzz of the release I thought, “An open source movie?  How the hell…”  I downloaded it off a torrent so that I could feel like I was stealing, just like all of the other movies I steal.  The intro screamed of awesomeness — battles for power, fights to the death!  What is this super cool ninja struggle for?  Why isn’t that hot bitch taking her clothes off while she fights in the snow?

I was pumped the first 110 seconds of the movie, then it was all downhill from there.   It was completely retarded!  Something about a bleeding heart liberal agenda for saving injured animals, with a guilt trip ending about mistaken enemy identity.  (Disguised as a cheesy morality play)

This really mirrors my experiences with crappy open source software.  “WOW, OMG PONIES!  Something free and awesome at the same time!”  Then a big let down after you experience the quality of the product.  Sintel reminded me of the Final Fantasy movie with slightly cheesier graphics, and a Sesame Street plot.  I guess that means open source movies are 10 years behind in technology, and 25 years behind in content.

But hey, it’s open source right?  I can do whatever the hell I want with this movie!  All I need is 8,000 hours of free time to spare.  I’m going to make my own porno, called Pimptel!  It’ll have this skinny bitch as the main character:

She’s going to do everything naughty I can imagine.  It’ll be distasteful, and incredibly funny.  Pimptel will be part Final Fantasy and part Japanese RapeLay with sprinklings of HBO’s Rome and World of Warcraft.  She’ll take a pounding in the butt from Roman Titus Pullo, then get sloppy seconds from an Orc.  The baby dragon model will be involved too.  And maybe a few chickens.

Is this degrading to the movie?  Of course!  But that’s what open source is all about.  Anyone can take a product, rape it, and probably arrive at greater success than the original developer.  *cough* *cough* MySQL *cough* *cough*.  I’m not providing an opinion on whether this is good or bad, it’s just a choice made by the original content creator.  You can enjoy the (cheap) popularity of making something for the public, or enjoy a rich, full life by selling intellectual property rights.

(Extended Caveat:  I realize advertising can be a big revenue maker for open source projects like this…  but I believe anything with a primary cash flow from advertising is a shitty business model to begin with.  But that’s another blag post.)

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One Comment

  1. lol, you’re crazy! What a fun read though, keep these articles coming 😄


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