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I’d like to take a break from the normal geeky content on the site, and shift gears to something a little more philosophical.  But still a little geeky.

I am circumcised.  I wear socks with sandals.  Are these two concepts mutually exclusive?

I wear socks with sandals because of the sheer logical benefits.  My feet don’t sweat against the bottom of the sandal.  They don’t get stinky and sticky.  I don’t get dirt under my toenails.  It provides some more cushion in my step, and therefore creates a more comfortable day for me.  Plain and simple.  I have no idea why wearing socks with sandals is a social faux pas. I personally don’t like seeing people’s disgusting toenails poking out from a dirty Birkenstock.  Cover up that horrible looking fungal infection with a sock you fucking hippies!  You might actually prevent the spread of your disgusting infection as well.

I can think of zero reasons to wear sandals without socks.  So that leaves only one possible explanation why a majority of the population does not wear socks with sandals:  conformity.  There is no logic.  No pros & cons.  No discussion of attributes.  It’s just a blind submission to a social convention.

Now, how is this different from circumcision?  There are many pros & cons, which I will describe later.  But after comparing the social and political motivations to each attribute, I find that it all comes down to a personal choice.  There really aren’t any major reasons to circumcise, or not to circumcise.  So it all comes down to conformity.

I am a person that believes in conformity.  Following the crowd is usually beneficial.  We get immunizations.  We grill steaks and burgers on the 4th of July.  We visit a fully qualified medical doctor when we’re sick.  (Cough cough, except Steve Jobs)  It’s the actively non-conformist hippies out there that really piss me off.  “Hey man, you shouldn’t buy that, you’re just supporting the evil corporations.”

So when it comes to most decisions and behaviors in life, I think social conformity is natural and beneficial to the individual.  Nobody wants to the the painted bird. So then, WHY do I love to wear socks with my sandals?

Maybe it’s because it’s such a minor clothing selection.  I’m quite utilitarian when it comes to appearance and clothing.  Plain shorts, plain white T-shirts, buzz cut hair, and of course, socks with sandals.  In the case of my first impression appearance, it may look like I’m a non-conformist…  but on a closer introspection, I’m not.  I just don’t give a shit what other people think about me.  Not in the matters of clothing that is.  I do enjoy when people to find out that I’m intelligent, kind hearted, funny, and sexually virile.  An opinion on my clothing shouldn’t affect any of those qualities about me.  I choose my own personal comfort over any attempt of an ornamental display.

In fact, the very notion of being a non-conformist is in itself an act of conformity. People that drive a Prius tell me how unique they are for saving the planet with their car.  People that eat Vegan food have the compulsion to tell me that my McDonald’s hamburger contains cow eyeballs.  And I’m just another dumb American conforming to corporate TV ads along with the rest of the SHEEPLE.  (I really hate that word)

This is not non-conformity.  It’s just conforming to the smug hippie liberal guilt machine.  All non-conformity is politically motivated and driven by guilt, hate, and fear.  It sucks in fresh meat with the prospects that you’re “cool” because you don’t follow the crowd.  “I’m so super cool and better than other people because I drive a hybrid.”  It keeps hooked because of the fueled hatred for the rest of society.  “Rich fat cat CEOs are killing poor helpless homeless people by working them to death in sweatshop factories!”  The fresh young non-conformist hates rich people now.  Fear helps spread the rumor that the Earth’s water will run out in 50 years.  And guilt motivates them to buy free range chickens because of all of the horrible insider video they’ve seen on Tyson farms.  “If you don’t buy free range chicken’s, you’re torturing poor defenseless chickens that live miserable lives.”

So this is why I don’t think my personal selection is qualified as being a non-conformist.  It just so happens that the personal choice I make with wearing socks and sandals isn’t very popular.  There is zero political motivation behind my decision.   Wearing socks with my sandals will not save the world.  I also have no motivation to try and convert others into wearing socks with sandals.  However, I would like people with disgusting feet to wear socks with sandals.  But it’s not a big deal, I just try to avoid staring at people’s gross toenails.  Who looks at people’s shoes anyway?  I rarely do.  And it seems that when someone does point out my foolish error of wearing socks with sandals, they’re a bit of a smug asshole themselves.  If you’re reading this and you’re about to comment about how retarded I am for wearing socks with sandals — don’t.  You’re gay for giving a shit about what other people wear on their feet.  End of story.

We’ve defined why I love to wear socks with sandals.  It’s not a non-conformist act, but simply a utilitarian choice based on plain logic.  How about circumcision then?  Why do I have such a strong conviction to circumcise a son?

First of all, lets look at some popular information, and misinformation out there on circumcision:

* Circumcision rates have dropped to around 50%.  It’s no longer “unpopular” to leave your child uncircumcised.  Soon the circumcision rates will be so low that DOING a circumcision will mean your child will be the odd one in the locker room!

WRONG.  This is complete bullshit.  There are bogus statistics all over the web for circumcision rates.  They’re all politically motivated.  Real statistics are hard to find, because we’re dealing with humans here.  You can’t just publish data without consent to be in a study.  Plus, many babies are circumcised after being released from the hospital.  (Religious ceremonies, separate pediatrician, etc)

The best I can come up with is straight from my own doctor’s mouth.  Circumcision rates in California are pretty low, reaching towards 50%.  Plus, I think we can pretty much ignore California in any statistical sampling.  All of Californians are fuckin’ hippie nut jobs.  Only in California is there a law requiring all McDonalds to display a huge warning sign that their french fries give you cancer.  Shit, my lawnmower is considered a hazardous pollutant in the State of California.  These people are just disconnected from reality, and living in a
world full of cynical propaganda.

But here in the rest of the US, it’s a different story, and it’s closer to 98% circumcision rates.  The doctor himself told me he has only a couple babies he does not circumcise per year,
out of the hundreds of deliveries he does.  So, that’s about 2%.  He’s also a conservative, Christian doctor, and he said most of his patients are also conservative.  So that rate might be skewed, but he said it’s well above 90% circumcision rates in other practices.

* An uncircumcised penis can be kept clean with soap & water.  Any arguments
saying a circumcised penis is easier to keep clean is wrong.  This is AMERICA
and we have easy access to soap and water here.

I think this is also bullshit.  I soap up my balls daily, and I still get jock itch occasionally.  Soap and water doesn’t protect skin folds during a whole day’s worth of activity.  I’d like to see how many uncircumcised guys out there actually have a clean dick after sweating for a day.  My circumcised dick gets a proper amount of air circulation and prevents bacteria from growing.

* Circumcision decreases pleasure!!!

This is a very popular debate point.  Why would you brutalize your son and decrease his sexual pleasure!?  It’s a perfectly constructed guilt-tripped, fear mongering statement.

First off, I’m circumcised, and I have NO problems with pleasure and achieving orgasm.  In fact, I could probably do with a little bit less pleasure!   I can easily blow my load in 30 seconds of being in a hot, wet pussy.  Two pump chumps for the WIN!

Pleasure is by its very definition, a completely subjective measurement.  Only you know if you are receiving pleasure, and it’s difficult to quantify how much pleasure your brain is perceiving. It’s kind of an on/off switch.  Ramming your dick in a pussy can be perceived as a wonderful, magical, romantic, mind blowing orgasmic connection with your partner.  Or the exact same stimulation under a bad context (fighting, pity fucks, partner-is-falling-asleep sex) can be just as lame as that quick jerk off in the shower when you start your day.

Other points say that the foreskin is packed with nerve endings, and that it’s an important part to sexual stimulation.  I don’t know, I call bullshit on that as well.  It’s just a protective sleeve over the head, made of the same skin that the shaft is made out of.  The shaft skin doesn’t have very many nerve endings.  But still, even if it did, I stick to the proof that pleasure is in
your head, not in your dick.

Think of paraplegics.  If a spinal injury blocks the sexual organs from transmitting to the brain, the brain begins to remap a different part of the body as a sensitive, sexual area.  There was a TED talk on this.  One woman that had a spinal injury reported that her gums were extremely pleasurable.  She could have an orgasm from brushing her teeth!  Other spinal injuries resulted in sensitive areas on the stomach, or other places on the body.

The point is, counting up nerve endings in what skin you take off a baby shouldn’t have any correlation with the amount of pleasure that person perceives as an adult.

* The foreskin isn’t like the appendix.  It has a natural purpose, to PROTECT the head of the penis.

Sure, okay.  I’m fine with that.   The *natural* purpose was to protect a sensitive area of the body when our ape ancestors were romping through the jungle.  I wouldn’t want to walk through a forest naked, my dick would probably be full of twig scratches and poison ivy!

But there’s this miracle invention of modern man:  UNDERWEAR.  Plus, it’s been years since I’ve romper stomped through a forest on a camping trip.  My daily life involves a torturous trek through an air conditioned office.

But then there’s also the argument that the head of the penis is still keratinized by rubbing on clothing.  (Forms a protective layer of dead skin cells from the chafing)  Well, I suppose I might agree with that a bit, but in no way has that affected my sex life.  The pictures I’ve seen as an example of a keratinized dick look fucking disgusting.  It’s obviously a rare case example,
because 98% of the population doesn’t complain about dick chafing like this.

And if a foreskin was meant to protect chafing, doesn’t the foreskin chafe anyway?  And what about people that jog and wear nipple protectors?  Isn’t that just the same concept — using a modern, simple invention to protect your skin during exercise.  We do it all the time.  It shouldn’t be a selling point on circumcision!  These argument points are just silly!

* Fathers shouldn’t want a son to “look like him” and circumcise a boy just
  on that personal desire

Bullshit.  The whole reason we reproduce is to create a little person just like ourselves.  Reproduction is our only remote connection with a possible immortality.  I create my son in my own image.  I create my daughter in her mother’s image. It’s the circle of life.  Sure, sometimes they don’t end up the way we romanticized about when they’re babies.  But all children retain many of the attributes of their parents.  In fact, I’d say having my boy circumcised like me adds a bonding experience.  We are one in the same, and we will conquer life together as I teach him my values and perceptions of the world around us.
* Uncircumcised penises look like a disgusting dog dick.

This is my own bullet point.  They look like an animal’s dick.  I think circumcised penises are what separate us from the animal kingdom.

In general, I believe an uncircumcised penis will scare off the ladies.  Penises are already scary enough for a young lady.  Don’t add some sand-wormy looking thing off of Beetlejuice to your son’s prom date night.  It’s hard enough to get a woman to even look at a normal penis.  Now add to that a stinky cheese dick encrusted with dried piss, popping out of a wormy sheath at her face.  Any woman that’s NOT a slut will freak out and run away from that.  Or, she’d try to play it off nice and say “hey lets be friends” or “I don’t really want to fool around yet, lets take this relationship a little slower.”  And that’s just the gateway to a woman finding the right words to break up with him.

* An uncircumcised penis has a 3x-7x increases in the chance of a Urinary Tract Infection

Well, whatever.  That’s a pro for circumcision, but it’s not that interesting. I’ve never had a UTI, but these are easily curable with antibiotics.  This shouldn’t even be a discussion point.  There are so many causes for a UTI that statistically correlating it to circumcision seems like a Red Herring argument to me.

And yes, I realize I’m calling my own argument point bullshit.  My whole goal here is to show that circumcision all comes down to a personal choice, not a medical or logical one.

* Circumcised penises have a reduced chance of getting an STD and/or cancer.
(Various studies done with HIV, syphilis, cervical cancer, etc)

This is a similar point as above.  Yeah, I get it:  the foreskin traps shit in there, and if you did a study on how many STD’s brew up in an uncircumcised cock vs a circumcised one, you’d see a higher rate of infection.  Because a fuckin’ cheese dick practically recreates the environment of a Petri dish, this seems pretty reasonable.

But hey, this point is still insignificant.  If you’re going to be banging whores in Las Vegas, WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM!!!

This point is like saying pulling out half way through blowing your load reduces a chance of getting her pregnant by 50%.  Sure, maybe 1/2 of your billions of sperm might result in a 50% pregnancy rate over a large statistical sample… but what the fuck dude!?  What a pointless statistic, wear a damn condom!

* It’s TRAUMATIC and dangerous for the baby!

There are so many videos of horror shows for young parents out there.  There’s a Penn & Teller: Bullshit! episode that sums up all of the ignorant fear propaganda out there.  It’s like their research for that show relied 100% on searching Yahoo Answers.

And I have to say, it’s difficult to watch them.  But these videos are at least 10 – 20 years old.  These days, babies get a shot of lidocaine, EMLA cream, and a sugar pacifier during the procedure.  My little guy didn’t even make a peep during the whole thing.  The doctor told me that most babies fall asleep during the circumcision.

And there’s also so many horror descriptions about the “circ board” they use. “Like Jesus being crucified” I read somewhere.  Do you people not understand this?  BABIES SQUIRM AROUND!  You can’t have a razor sharp scalpel around a baby that’s doing his usual squirmy wormy thing.  You’d end up cutting the shit out of him. The board keeps them strapped down so they can’t hurt themselves during the procedure.  DERRRRP.

The other horror story I heard is that “a small percentage of babies hemorrhage blood, and need an emergency blood transfusion after the bleeding is under control”  I call bullshit on this.  I just don’t see how a hemorrhage could happen, when its just nipping off a little bit of skin.  The only way this would be possible is if the doctor used the wrong tools, or made an extremely stupid mistake.  I assisted with the procedure on my boy, manning the sugar pacifier.  There
wasn’t even a full drop of blood.  Just a little dab of blood on the gauze from the raw skin on the tip of the penis.  The circumcision clamping device cuts off all the blood to the foreskin.  When the foreskin is cut off, there’s a little bit of blood in that, but not much.

Again, the only way some major complication could happen is with doctor that doesn’t have much experience doing circumcisions.  My doctor said he’s done at least 1,000 circumcisions over his 20 year career.  That’s more than enough of a resume for me, and he did an excellent job.

* The child should be able to make HIS OWN decision on whether he wants to mutilate his body!

First, that’s such a loaded statement.  Again, the guilt-tripped liberal agenda that seeks to make you feel like a bad parent.  As a parent, you’re going to be making TONS of decisions for your kids.  Circumcision is just one of them.

It’s much easier on your boy to get the circumcision done within the first few days of birth.  The foreskin is very thin at birth, and thickens up within the first few weeks.  If you wait more than a few months, a circumcision usually requires general anesthesia at that point.  And on top of that, adult circumcision is a more complicated procedure than in an infant.  The infant foreskin doesn’t scar as much compared to the adult circumcision.

More than likely, the decision on circumcision won’t be as significant as other decisions you make as a parent.  But still, my stance is that you can only add to your child’s humiliation by not circumcising.  I don’t want to attempt to fear monger here, I’m just stating the statistical norm.  If you stick by not circumcising, then fine.  It’s your job to then help him deal with that humiliation in a healthy way.  Every child is going to have to deal with bullying in some form.  I personally would just like the subject of my son’s bullying to NOT be about his dick.  I’d like to avoid the psychological inadequacies later on in life.  We have enough baggage as we get older, I don’t think a parent should add to that.  I would be more apt to deal with bullying because he’s a band geek, or he reads comic books.  Normal kid stuff, not dick stuff.

* Foreskin Restoration

This is for the nut jobs that think they were wronged at birth.  Their parents made the most horrible mistake of their lives by circumcising them.  To fix this horrible atrocity, they tie weights to their cock to stretch out the skin over time.  This eventually recreates a freakishly looking foreskin… for, whatever reason.

I think these guys just got caught up in the anti-circumcision propaganda and are now shining rock stars of the movement.  The more people these hippies can acquire, the louder their voice.  And that voice is especially strong when they have people that have converted and can say, “Oh praise Gaia!  My restored penis truly IS BETTER than my mutilated circumcised penis!”  That sentence is funny, because the “restored foreskin” looks fucking disgusting.  Like some nasty
stretched out old man nut sack over the top of a withered, stinky penis.  (Just do a Google image search, on an empty stomach)

I say, if you circumcised your son and he grows up to be an anti-circumcision propaganda whore that goes through foreskin restoration — you’ve had bigger problems with him than this foreskin stuff.  Your parenting went to shit when you missed his Tee-Ball games.  You disapproved of his hippie friends as a teenager and alienated your relationship with him.  You yelled at him at the top of your lungs when he chose Art History as a major, instead of Civil Engineering like you wanted.

Foreskin restoration is just a side effect of your shitty parenting skills.  A close bond between father and son does not result in such hatred of your own body.

———————

So after all of this discussion on the pros & cons, I’ve learned that circumcision isn’t about pros & cons, attributes, qualities, or statistics.  It’s all moot in the end.  It all comes down to conformity.  DO you want your kid to fit in, or not?  Do you think not fitting in builds a more stable personality?

I don’t think so!  The more normal a kid can be, the better.  And maybe hundreds of years in the future, uncircumcised cocks will be normal.  But definitely not now, nor in the next few generations.

But this still doesn’t fully answer the question:  WHY do I love to wear socks with sandals, but am SO adamant on circumcision?  How can I not care what people think of my clothing, but care so much about the appearance of a cock they most likely won’t see?

First, I think it’s an important separation that I’ve been thinking about this when deciding the fate of my son.  My cock is already circumcised, and I am glad it is.  However, even as an adult, I’d still feel uncomfortable at the gym if I were uncircumcised.   Feeling like I’ve got a freak dog dick dangling between my legs would just make me feel like an outcast. To have a physical abnormality strikes us more deeply than the style of clothes we wear.  You don’t necessarily remember that your coworker wore a pink shirt one day, and you gave him shit for looking like a gaywad in it.  If you saw that your coworker had an uncircumcised penis, you would remember that as a permanent attribute about him.  “Oh there’s Bob, the guy that is most likely a child rapist with his throbbing, uncircumcised member.”

I don’t care if my son wears sandals without socks.  That’s his personal choice to make.  And, it’s easy to change your mind on the whole socks & sandals conundrum.  You just have
to set aside 30 seconds out of your life to take a trip to the sock drawer.

A circumcised dick is for life.  It’s more like a guild membership, or a rite of
passage that Americans do at birth.  Since I’m not religious, it’s still important to have rites of passage.  For me, a circumcision feels just as important as a baptism, or a bris, or any religious ritual.

Some choose one side of the coin, while most choose the more popular side.  I think the most important part of this decision is to do some introspection on why you made your decision.  Don’t decide because someone made you feel guilty about the opposite outcomes.  And
certainly don’t crumble to an irrational fear.  Shit, my own motivations are partially due to fear, but I accept this for its own reality.  Fear of rejection, and fear of being different.  But I believe these fears to be rational in the context of normal social interaction.  Nobody wants to be an outcast.  To fear a circumcision because there are horror stories of babies dying from blood loss is completely irrational.  There’s a big difference.

I am circumcised.  I wear socks with my sandals.  Both are attributes of ME. On the surface they appear to be two similar things.  But digging through the details, circumcision defines your physical and sexual self.  Socks with sandals is a personal expression, merely for the sake of the freedom of expression and personal utility.

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2 Comments

  1. Nice blog, I enjoy your ideas on tech, your slant and mannerisms (always start with a compliment before ripping to shreds). Excuse any typos in advance.

    There is one reason why never to wear sandals with socks: it looks shit. Other than that, you’d be right. If you want to look like a pimply boyscout or socially inept dweeb, fire away. It’s also partly manners. As a rule we don’t generally eat with our mouths a gape, similarly socks && sandals == tasteless. It has nothing to do with conformity for the sake of it, that’s like criticising those of us who eat with cutlery of being “snobby conformists”. Socks and sandals certainly are mutually exclusive of one thing: looking like your Mommy didn’t dress you in the morning. If that’s a perception you wish to cultive, good luck to you.

    Maybe you’re a closet sock festisher, but what you do in the privacy of .. yada yada, is no ones business.
    You might not subscribe to that view point, but I’d compare socks and sandals to nudists. Very few people look good strutting around naked, I don’t want to see the hairy butt-crack of my middle aged neighbour any more than I wish to see socks with sandals. And besides, it defeats the point of sandals: they originated from *hot* countries to alleviate sweating and discomfort.

    On a tangent: the presence or absence of a ring of skin on my member doesn’t define anyone (save the membership in one of two groups) – what one does with said member is more likely to define their sexuality.

    Finally, my rant is near closing, it’s time to grow up, roll with certain things in society and adjust to civilised tastes – there are ways to tie and wear a tie, not string it aimlessly around one’s neck. And so sandals, no socks. Get over it.

  2. So what happened to your shitblag?


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